Meeting a woman with no complaints about her body is a rare occurence.
Here are five ways to feel good about how you look, regardless of your
shape or size.
Studies show that at least 90 percent of women are dissatisfied with
some part of their appearance, whether it's their buttocks, thighs, abs
or arms. "We live in the cult of thinness," says Sheenah Hankin, Ph.D.,
a psychotherapist in private practice in Manhattan, whose clientele
includes celebrities and models. "We've created a monster out of fat
and because of the media and the fear of being overweight, very few
women are really clear about what they trulylook like. They're often
victims of fantasy fat; they see excess weight that's just not there."
So how can you get rid of fantasy fat and learn to love your body?
Thomas Cash, Ph.D., author of The Body Image Workbook (New Harbinger,
1997) and a professor of psychology at Old Dominion University in
Norfolk, Virginia, offers these five tips to help you deal with the
negative feelings you may have toward your body and become comfortable
in your own skin.
Get specific
Many people say, "I hate the way I look." Cash recommends narrowing the
focus by asking yourself to be more specific. What in particular do you
dislike about your body? When do you dislike it? For example, do you
feel badly about your body on the days when you don't go to the gym or
when you wear an outfit that makes you feel heavy? Focusing on the
specific problem can help you deal with it better and find solutions.
Find the cause
Negative feelings about your body can be caused by a variety of things,
from culture to comments made to you during your childhood, according
to Cash. Try to remember when you first started feeling this way or
having these thoughts, whether it was reading through magazines and
wishing you could look like a supermodel or being teased in the third
grade for being overweight. Cash says it helps to understand where
these feelings come from so you don't perpetuate them in the future.
"You can't go back and be born into a different culture or not be
teased," he says. "That's the past. The point is to learn what you can
control and to say to yourself, 'My history got me this far and now I'm
in charge of my life and the way I feel."
Correct your internal private negative monologues
Instead of walking into a party and thinking, "Everyone is staring at
me because I'm fat," you need to stop the negative thought process and
realize that, chances are, everyone else is too busy paying attention
to how they look to take the time to judge you. Also, learn to give
yourself credit for the things you do like about your body, such as
your soft hair, perfect feet, smooth skin or sexy voice.
Keep a journal
Whenever you find yourself in an upsetting situation that triggers
negative thoughts, it's therapeutic to write down in a journal how you
feel and what you were thinking.
Treat your body right
Focus on doing things that make your body feel good rather than
expending your energy worrying about how your body looks. Take bubble
baths, take a walk and get some fresh air, get massages. Indulge in
these things not because they prevent you from feeling badly but
because they make you feel great.
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