Are you destined for a life of dinners alone? Certainly not. But you may have to compromise once in a while. Here are a few tips to help you fit into the mainstream food scene:

Plan the party. If you're usually not comfortable with the restaurant choices made by others, then offer to pick the place yourself, suggests Suzanne Nelson Steen, Sc.D., and R.D.  Find a few restaurants that serve a variety of different foods, including ones that you would choose for yourself.

Do a background check. If someone else makes the plans, call the restaurant to explain your needs and ask what options are available. "Most restaurants can accommodate almost any kind of dietary need," says Janet R. Laubgross, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Fairfax, Virginia who specializes in weight management. "It's good to plan ahead, though, so that you're not making a production at the dinner table."

Be as flexible as possible. If you can't have lactose, say to the server, "I don't eat any dairy. What do you recommend?" And even if you're a vegetarian at a steakhouse, there is always the salad and baked potato that come with every order.

Make arrangements. If you are going to the home of a close friend for dinner, you can tell them ahead of time that wheat is off-limits for you. Then offer to bring along a veggie tray as a "thank you" to them for accommodating to your restrictions. If you are attending a wedding, you can eat something before you go and pack something to nibble on, in case you get hungry.

Know when to say when. If eating something isn't going to endanger your health, there are times when you should just let go. "If you're out to lunch for a job interview, you don't want to make fuss," says Laubgross. "Do the best that you can. It's probably worth it."

But if your eating preferences are continually coming up an issue, perhaps it's time for some self-evaluation, says Edward Abramson, Ph.D., professor of psychology and author of To Have and To Hold: How to Take of the Weight When Marriage Puts on the Pounds (Kensington Books, 1999). "You need to ask yourself, "Do the benefits of my restrictive eating outweigh the social costs?"

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