DIET | DETECTIVE^®

To paraphrase Mark Twain, reports of Britney’s “miracle” weight loss have been greatly exaggerated.

 According to this week’s OK magazine, Brit lost an astonishing 15 pounds in four weeks and is now “back to her old body.” Interesting choice of words, because the secret to her slim cover pic involves a little bit of time travel. The folks at OK dug up a fresh-faced photo from Brit’s 2003 Glamour cover shoot—pre-mommyhood, pre-buzz cut, and pre-breakdown. She looks fabulous, naturally.

And she’s slowly and steadily approaching fabulous in present time as well. She’s been looking happier, healthier, and yes, slimmer. But suffice to say she hasn’t lost fifteen pounds in four weeks. She’d have to burn 1875 calories a day, which is close to impossible even for a very bored pop star.

Still, the advice inside the issue, though faux, is worth following—five small meals daily, dance classes, fewer Frappuccinos. But the rest of the article is hopelessly stuck in the past. In fact, the only quote direct from Britney (“I don't like to work out because my legs get bulky") is pure vintage, plucked from an InStyle article just after Brit’s first single broke. In 1999.

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