Catherine Zeta-Jones is denying rumors that she’s anorexic. What, you hadn’t heard those rumors either?

I personally haven’t heard even the faintest whisper of an anorexia rumor. In fact, I think CZJ has one of the (consistently) best bodies in Hollywood . And even a Google search for CZJ and anorexia turns up nothing—except, of course, for her adamant denial. She says, “Michael was laughing at me. He told me…that stories say I’m anorexic. Do I look anorexic? How could I ever, ever be anorexic?” Calm down, Catherine, I don’t know!

Here’s my theory: Have you ever had a dream where someone you know did something really evil, and then you wake up and you’re still inexplicably mad at them? I kind of wonder if Catherine awoke from a terrible National Enquirer nightmare, then immediately got on the horn to deny the story before stopping to think, “Hey, did that actually happen?”

But more likely, she’s just jumping the gun, assuming that her recent minor weight loss (from “working out and not chomping down what I usually chomp down”) will inevitably be twisted into an ED rumor by the tabs. It’s the catch-22 in Hollywood —if you gain a pound you’re on bump watch; if you lose an ounce, you’re on high-alert for anorexia. With all the mixed messages, it’s no wonder women set out to lose a few pounds and end up in bobblehead territory (see Nicole Richie). Hopefully CZJ won’t follow suit.

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