All the world is a buffet, and I am a diabetic seated at the sweet table! Over the weekend, friends and I decided to pay a visit to a local bar that offers a taste of the northeast right in Miami Beach – dark wood, plumes of cigarette smoke, the wafting scent of fried food and an array of beers on draft (disgusting, now that I think about it!).

I have been very sensitive about the bar scene lately while someone close to me is making the effort to abstain from alcohol. Bars are not the first venue of choice when making plans with a recovering alcoholic, but non-alcoholic options do ease the burden. Let's face it – in America, there are at least 2 bars for every Starbucks and at least 2 fast food restaurants for every bar. Much to my chagrin, last night's local watering hole offered no such non-alcoholic options. Beer or bust!

Now, you may be wondering – why am I taking a seeming alcoholic-in-recovery to a bar? Well, why wouldn't I? I seem to get easily roped into dinner plans at restaurants all the time. While these experiences no longer seem like tests of personal strength – but instead – a more expensive mimicry of having sex without an orgasm. Healthy menu options are slim! I often find myself opting to go hungry rather than succumb to fast food. Even the cafeteria at my university (where I am pursuing a PhD in Public Health) fails to provide a low fat salad dressing option at the salad bar! What’s the point of a salad when the only dressing available is loaded in saturated fat?

People rarely demonstrate care or concern about taking someone who is making the effort to lose weight to a restaurant. I make healthy decisions by avoiding most bars and most restaurants – and in turn, I avoid most people! Every weekend is an exercise is finding social fulfillment beyond the usual suspects of dinner and drink.

Perhaps we ought to focus less on the mixed drinks and more on the mixed messages in our culture. Glossy magazines conceal it better, but independent press can seem far more transparent (this is certainly the case for The Miami New Times). Their formula is simple; first come the fashion and beauty ads, then the food ads, and then the personals / erotic massage. The disconnect in between could easily be an ad for bulimic purging!

While I believe in establishing healthy relationships with substances – drink and food alike, sometimes this isn't always realistic due to the mixed messaging that surrounds us. The problem isn't always the second helping – it is the first. In change, there is struggle. People who tell you otherwise are lying. In struggle, however, is the opportunity for personal triumph and growth... and that deserves a cookie! Or not…

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written by Ca*sie P, October 30, 2007

E,
this one really hit home for me. This really makes me think.
thanks