I have a remarkable memory. Remarkably, I don’t recall any of my childhood peers declaring “I want to go into sales when I grow up!” Somehow, the childhood desire to become a realtor is never a fantasy; neither is bearing the real estate of an overweight adulthood. These things just seem to happen while we’re busy making plans in life.

I became part of the sales labor force at 17, working my first job at a local mall. I was obese, and peddling what I thought to have been the cutting edge of fashion at the time. I became one of the Gap’s top sales associates; my manager declared that I could sell flip flops to an amputee!

My uncle Henry and I got into one of our philosophical discussions during my last trip to Montreal. Henry insists that we are no longer citizens of the world; we are consumers. I thought this to be an accurate observation. Indeed, our society is such that from birth, we all bred to become consumers and commodities alike. This was an underlying theme in Andy Warhol’s artwork – prints and reprints of consumer goods whose advertisement had become the artistry in our landscape.

Warhol was a tactful observer. I tune into the everyday nuances of language. Crowning the headlines of last night’s news: “Reese Witherspoon, back on the market following divorce from Ryan Phillippe.” Back on the ‘market’?

Being fat can be a great way out of this market – it was for me. We know that in this culture, thin is in. Conversely, being overweight may hold some protective value in stepping back from the social marketplace. It seems only logical. Think of a shopping mall. How many stores cater to an overweight clientele? Is this a store whose brand image you wish to identify with? Where is the ‘Women’s’ department at Macy’s located (and let’s not confuse it with the more modest ‘Ladies’ department of sizes up to 14)? My experience has been that it is tucked away on another floor, in the back, somewhat hidden.

Armani Exchange sells sex, but they don’t sell size 42 pants!

In my weight loss, one of the most difficult challenges was acquiring a self-worth apart from a value on a scale. ‘268’ was not a high measure of self-worth! What about ‘168’? I was accomplished at selling jeans and t-shirts, but learning of my value in our social marketplace was a much more difficult feat. No one aspires to a career in sales, but we all join Ms. Witherspoon’s positioning ‘on the market’ at one point or another. We become salespeople of our own commodity by osmosis.

Intimate interactions and relationships are appraisals of our worth. For many people, weight gain is worth lost. Any addiction or dependence reduces our own sense of worth and value ‘on the market’. I think that this can be one of the greatest hindrances to realizing the incentive in change; when you feel worthy of so little, you are not worth the effort to change. In change, there is value… and how interesting that we call it ‘growth’! 

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