It’s Not Easy Being Green

by Kitty Jay
Thursday, 23 August 2007
“I don’t eat green food”, he said. It was our 2^nd date, the dinner date, the one where attraction has been established and the getting to know you phase begins. Not the too too heavy stuff, but the funny, and the pertinent. Clearly this fell into the pertinent category. Judging by the look on his face, this was information he was used to getting out of the way early in a relationship. “When you say green, do you mean like, moldy, or old?” I asked. But no. He meant he didn’t eat any of it. No lettuce, no pesto sauce, no pickles, certainly no broccoli. It didn’t matter if it was doused in cheese, deep fried, or hiding inside a puff pastry shell – if he saw a hint of green, he was outta there. Unless the food in question happened to be a sugary packaged cupcake topped with an artificially-colored lime green icing and sprinkles. That he had no problem with. An aversion to green food was only the first in a long list of my husband’s many food phobias and idiosyncrasies. He also avoided anything with fiber (“Brown rice? What am I, a monk?”), drank copious amounts of Gatorade in lieu of water (“If athletes drink it, how can it be bad for you?”), and seemed to regard Hamburger Helper as a food group. Yet he was thin. My pant size had always been my own gauge of health, and here was this guy, who seemingly ate whatever he pleased, and maintained a healthy weight. What gives? So I cooked him his Hamburger Helper, and ate it, and I went with him to Burger King, and ate it, and pizza, and opulent NYC romantic dinners, and ice cream, and chicken wings & beer…and 20 lbs later, we were in love. The further our relationship progressed, the more I began to realize that while our unhealthy eating had apparent physical ramifications for me, there’s no way the unhealthy diet we were enjoying wasn’t having its own physical ramifications on his body, and that certainly didn’t sit well with me. Not if I wanted him around for the next 50 years or so. Thankfully, he had to admit that I was probably right. Now we enjoy sushi on a weekly basis. We buy the higher fiber bread. Yogurt is a regular breakfast. Sweet potatoes are looked forward to at dinner time. He hasn’t had a Gatorade in over 4 years, and yes, I have even figured out how to get him to eat a few foods that are green. Want to know how I did it? I will be here 2 times a week to tell you how! Bookmark: Trackback(0) TrackBack URI for this entry Comments (5) Subscribe to this comment's feed Love it! written by Kate (Warm Olives), April 12, 2008 You know I started reading your blog originally because your husband is so much like MY boyfriend, and this just proves it. On OUR early date, he stated "I don't eat anything white." Wha--? That means nothing with milk, mayo, no rice, pasta, cream, white cheese, parmesan -- anything white or very pale was out. "Think about it" he said. "Nothing white is ever healthy." Yeah, maybe that's true -- but white food is FUN! He doesn't eat as much veggies as I'd like, either, but he managed to stay rail thin because he also doesn't consume alot of fat. His typical diet is broiled salmon, black beans, salad, granola with water (gag), mushrooms, and the only "white" food he is willing to eat: boneless turkey and boneless chicken, and grilled shrimp. His only regular vice is french fries and chewing gum. Just typing it makes him sound so gosh darn boring. Good thing he's so funny or I'd-a kicked 'em to the curb 7 years ago. ... written by Nico, March 09, 2008 How can I do this for myself......I try and wish i could eat greens, but i hate them. Lettuce too....only green beans and celery are the only 2 i can eat. Kosher pickles too...but not any other type. Thought i was the wierdest person on earth! ... written by Mr Big, October 15, 2007 I liked the other 2 recipes, and now I'll try another new one. ... written by Cinnamon, October 05, 2007 I'm looking forward to using some of your recipes! I would like to eat healthier. I also thought hamburger helper was its own food group-along with oodles of noodles-thanks for clearing that up! :) ... written by Rebecca, October 05, 2007 Sounds like it will be great for my kids too! Write comment Name Title Comment
Last Updated ( Thursday, 27 September 2007 )