I sit aboard a flight bound for Canada. This weekend marks my ten-year high school reunion. I remember graduating; it feels like yesterday. Years have passed and I have moved on. I have lost 135 pounds. I have followed dreams set out in my formative years, obtained several degrees, and feel like I have achieved many great successes in the past ten years. There is much to celebrate!

Mr. Silverstein, my high school English teacher gave us a final assignment for our class 10 years ago. He asked us to envision ourselves at 27 – my present age. Where would I be? Who would I be? More importantly, what would I wear to our reunion?

At 17, the world was my oyster and, ‘shucks’, I was eating it up – all of it! There would be no prom date. No limousine. I opted to be fiercely independent and set myself apart which is easy when you don’t feel a sense of belonging. Even my size didn't belong in the clothing stores in which I sought to procure a modern suit. I had to have it custom made – size 44 pant, 48 blazer.

My essay for Mr. Silverstein was cake. In my experience, rarely do people who are unhappy with their bodies find the ability to live in present terms. Life is a characterized by ‘when’. At 27, I envisioned myself living in Miami Beach, flying up for our reunion. I wanted to be thin, and I wanted this thinness to be appreciated in the land of body. As a fat person, my forward thinking could not extend much further than my waistline. Life would begin again as it began – with hunger.

For so many of us, pounds precede plans. We hunger for the purpose of food – whether this is to satiate a hunger for something else or for sustenance alone. We hunger for the safety of insulation and padding that pounds bring, or for the experience of life that becomes the drive toward weight loss. We forget that ‘life happens when you’re busy making plans’.

My weight loss set me free. I would have otherwise never taken the risks that have assured my successes. Obstruction by way of obesity would have been the story of my life. I willingly traded the bounty of my body for the boundlessness of the past decade.

At 27, I am returning. A size 38 blazer is packed neatly in my suitcase. Jeans with a hint of spandex – I am The Nutty Professor, and those dancing shoes. I celebrate a life I had envisioned for myself. Partnership and pet ownership are now the things for which I feel most grateful in Miami Beach. I am humbled by the experience of my weight loss and my struggle that endures. Mr. Silverstein would be proud. This is the realization that I am too.

Where will you be in ten years?

Bookmark:

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (0)

Subscribe to this comment's feed