My friend Jon and I reconnected a few weeks ago. He has been working in advertising, recently conducting marketing focus groups for a major chocolate manufacturer.

I have always been interested by the marketing genius that seems to better understand our cultural relationship with food than many weight loss experts. If Hershey’s can surmise that kisses can be made of chocolate, then why have we been so slow in uncovering that perhaps chocolate kisses are part of a bigger problem? Match.com may not deliver true love, but Hershey’s can always supply you with ‘Kisses’.

Sex sells. We know this to be true. Sex sells diet programs as it does foods, personal hygiene products, and virtually any commodity in our culture. So, why do I find this so troubling when it comes to body weight and body image?

Sexless sells too. The messages are not as direct; they are the Forgotten Woman – an aptly named plus-size clothing chain founded in New York 20 years ago – and soon to be closing its doors. Despite the proliferation of media, it is uncommon to find images of seemingly contented and respected overweight couples, celebrities and the like. The lack of imagery is important. Sexless sells the lure of thin and sexy.

Healthy sexual relationships encompass emotional, intimate bonds. Psychologists have said that during infancy, we learn to associate intimate nurturance with the feeding our mothers provide. The association stays with us; in adulthood we crave ‘comfort’ foods. Food is comforting! Food provides nourishment and nurturance. When sex becomes attached to food consumption through media and messages, the association we have made as infants can shift. This is especially true when we consider that between the late 1950s and 1970s, the number of diet articles in popular women’s magazines had virtually doubled.

While sexual activity is certainly an incentive to acquiring a healthy body weight and body image, weight loss can also trigger other underlying issues with regards to intimacy. A recent weight loss advertisement depicted an elated, thin bride complete with wedding dress and veil. The opposing message is made clear in Alex Comfort’s The Joy of Sex, published in 1972, explicitly stating that "Fatness in our culture is unlovely. If you are grossly overweight, set about losing it, whether you value your sex life or only your life.”

This sort of direct message seems almost astounding 35 years later, yet the Forgotten Woman is still in our midst. She is veiled in weight loss advertisements with thin, blushing brides and in the Slim Fast can found in Anna Nicole’s fridge upon her death; she was certainly not a national sex symbol as a plus size.

While we continue to learn about body weight, and ways we can go about obtaining and maintaining it, it is important to consider the culture in which we live. After all, ‘Kisses’ are great – Hershey’s or otherwise. The key is moderation, and a lot of food for thought!

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