DIET | DETECTIVE^®

Dear Jessica,

We all saw that cover story where Esquire voted you the Sexiest Woman Alive. And the one where Stuff did the same thing. Oh, and you’re one of People’s Most Beautiful too, right? Yeah, that’s what we thought. So for the love of god, stop pretending you think you’re fat.

Seriously, Jess, no one is buying it. For starters, we’ve seen you. So when you complain about your legs being too short and stumpy (“They could be longer or leaner…I just have to come to terms with the fact that I'll never have volleyball player legs”) we know you’re lying.

But you’re really asking us to suspend disbelief when you complain about your knuckles. Remember when you said, “I have fat knuckles…they don’t really look that way until you start putting rings on them”? Seriously, that was ridiculous. And the fact that you’re so hung up on your fat knuckles that you almost named your production company Fat Knuckle Films…sorry, but no. It’s time to just admit you have the ideal body. You barely have an ounce of fat on you, and yet no one’s dedicated a single column inch to rumors of anorexia or a raging coke habit. Because we all know you do plyometrics and eat your veggies. So lay off the self-loathing and get on with your life. Because if you’re not okay with your body, no one can be.

Thanks,

 Kara

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written by beth, August 31, 2007

lol jessica biel needs to shut up and thank God for the perfect body

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written by Ashley, August 21, 2007

I agree Kara! Jessica does have the ideal body and I love that she's not anorexically thin and has muscles. Yet, if she can't be secure and accepting of herself then it simply reinforces that constant struggle to become unattainably perfect.