DIET | DETECTIVE^®

Friends can make you fat. This was the conclusion of a 32 year study in which the eating habits of  more than 12,000 people were examined. In this article recently published in the New England Journal of Medicine , the researchers found that how you ate was to a great extent influenced by the eating habits of your family, friends and co-workers. This should come as no surprise to anyone who has shared an evening dish of icecream with a spouse or gone out for pizza with co-workers or friends. One can conclude from this article that if you want to get thin or remain a normal weight, pick your social net work carefully.

Obviously we are not going to sort through our relatives, friends and co-workers by their weight status in order to lose a few pounds ourselves. But your social environment can influence your behavior. Think of how many people stopped smoking simply because they felt uncomfortable or were unable to smoke socially, at work, or in their homes. 

One question raised by this article is  whether friends and family could  help you get lose weight?   Certainly the popularity of support groups for weight loss such as  Weight Watchers  indicates that dieters like  to be with others to share weight loss successes and struggles. . The success of  residential weight loss centers  is also  based to some extent on the fact that dieting  guests are surrounded by others who are willing to eat small amounts of food and exercise a lot ( although there are rumors of people sending out for pizza when the staff have left the premises). And most  of us have had the experience of deciding against ordering a fattening main course or desert if our fellow dinners are making healthier food choices.

It is intriguing to speculate that losing weight would be much easier if we surround ourselves with network of friends and family members whose eating habits would make any dietician or mother proud.  I can report from my own experience that sharing meals for a week with a friend who is  thin  does have a positive impact on weight loss.  Mary Jane (, not her real name ) doesn’t like to eat. She eats of course and enjoys good tasting food but if there is a choice between eating and doing something else, like going to a shoe sale, she will do the something else. I know her eating habits because we have been going on a hiking trip every year for the past ten years and even though we usually go with a group, we tend to sit together at meals.  Unlike most people, including me, Mary Jane stops eating when she stops feeling hungry. It is as if someone pulls a switch on her appetite. She simply puts down her fork and stops . It doesn’t matter how tasty or different or tempting the food left on her plate is. She will not eat if she no longer feels hunger. She once explained why she does this. “ My grandmother who used to take care of me forced me to clean my plate. I remember sitting at the table for hours until she left the room and I could throw away my food . When I finally left home, I was determined that no one would ever tell me to what to eat or how much.

So  spending a week together and eating as she does is usually good for about a 5 pound weight loss .I don’t starve and I do eat more than she does but I stop eating  as she does when I am no longer hungry. So it figures that if eating with people who eat too much makes you gain weight, eating with a group of friends, co-workers or family members who are all watching their calories might help to lose weight. One of our  weight loss clients told me how her friends from college helped her stay on her diet when they spent a reunion weekend together.  “ I mentioned to one of them that I had started a diet and  was thinking of not joining them this year because being with them would tempt me into eating the wrong foods.” She told me not to worry; that they had all reached an age when they had to pay attention to their weight .  So we spent the weekend grilling fish, potatoes and vegetables  we snacked on rice cakes and carrots ,and  took long walks every morning.” “ I came back 3 pounds lighter.”

As our client found out, it may be not that hard to find others who want to eat more healthily and even lose weight. Sometimes all that is needed is to make small changes in how you and your social network eat. For example instead of meeting a friend at a Starbucks for a calorie laden drink, go for a walk instead.  Change what you tend to serve at family or social gatherings . Subtitute  the fattening ingredients for those with fewer calories ( some magazine like Cooking Light feature lighter versions of traditional dishes in every issue) .Add dishes that are healthier and lower in fat, cholesterol and calories. Unless you don’t like your relatives, you will be doing them a favor by serving them healthier food.  Find people in your company who are willing to support your efforts to have lower calorie, healthier food at meetings. There are other things to eat besides pizza or mayonnaise laden tuna salad.  Find a  ‘buddy’ at work  with whom you can eat and exercise. One client who was gaining weight because her boss was so demanding used to eat  lunch with a co-worker who had the same boss. They consoled themselves with such fattening food that both gained about 40 pounds in less than two years. 

But when my client went on a diet, she asked her co-worker to help her . Now they bring their lunches and  spend much of their lunch hour going for a power walk.

These small changes can develop into  a personal network of people who are, like you,  concerned about their weight, and want to improve their lifestyle.  Make your friendships losing ones and you will gain a healthier life.

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