Gaining a little weight is one thing. Gaining a little weight and then seeing yourself on the cover of a magazine with the headline “It’s Not a Fat Suit!” is a whole other animal altogether, and enough to send any girl sprinting for the salad bar.

True story. I gained some weight last year—well, fifteen pounds, actually—but I convinced myself I was hiding it pretty well. That is, until I went to a family affair and six people asked me if my husband and I were “thinking about kids,” which I translated into, “Are you expecting or just much larger than before?” and promptly lost the fifteen pounds again. (How? Oh, just some Pilates.)

Anyway, that was the basic arc of Jessica Simpson’s recent weight fluctuations. Always normal by normal-people standards and “curvy” by Hollywood standards, she lost serious poundage for her Oscar-nominated role as Daisy Duke. (Wait, what? She wasn’t nominated?! Blasphemy!) But then the movie wrapped, and on account of not being superhuman, she gained a lot of it back. And then kept going. And then, inexplicably, decided to jump on the high-waist pants trend. The result is this picture which, to add insult to injury, was taken at the worst possible camera angle.

I think it goes without saying that Jessica hauled her butt to the gym almost immediately and whipped herself back into shape. The word is that she’s following the 5-Factor Diet, which consists of five small meals a day that take five minutes to prepare, using five main ingredients.

As a result, the tabs are saying she’s lost 20 pounds in the past month. Now, call me a pessimist, but I don’t think eating five meals a day will create the kind of calorie deficit necessary to lose that much weight that quickly. She’d need to cut 2500 calories a day—a tall order, since few people eat that much to begin with. I’m just saying 20 pounds in a month isn’t likely unless she’s eating helium sandwiches.

But I’m not saying the diet is rubbish—actually, the basic idea is the closest thing to a reasonable lifestyle plan that you’re going to get from a Hollywood fad diet. You get to actually eat, as long as you pay attention to what you're eating. I’m just saying that a) it’s a little easier when you’re working directly with the diet’s creator, b) Jess has been hitting the gym a lot, and c) I would guess that she’s realistically only lost about ten pounds. She’s not a tall girl; a few pounds makes a big difference on her. Just ask Drew Barrymore, or Britney Spears, or Christina Aguilera. But there's a reason the diet has caught on recently -- it offers low-cal meal options to replace your favorite high-calorie entrees, which reminds me a lot of the calorie bargains on this site.

Of course, none of this explains why she’s rocking the same hairstyle I wore in eighth grade. And it was no fluke, because she’s done it more than once.

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written by nancy, June 29, 2007

You are definitely relapsing. I too have overcome an eating disorder and it is NOT ok to be 88 lbs again. Trust the people around you. No on has that small of a body frame. To maintain your weight you should be eating about 1600-2000 calories

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written by Kara Wahlgren, June 27, 2007

From a health website:
"You should never reduce you daily calorie intake by more than 1000 calories without medical or dietitian supervision. This means that women should aim for at least a 1,200 -1,500 calorie diet."

A healthy weight range for your height, according to the body ma*s index (BMI), is 116-134 pounds.

Hope that helps. It sounds like you're worried you might be relapsing into an eating disorder. If that's the case, please talk to a doctor or visit www.something-fishy.org.

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written by Faith, June 26, 2007

Hi I am 22 years old and I just read this article. So im confused about calorie intake right now. Is 1000 cals low enough to lose weight? I want to get down to 88 lbs but I dont want to get sick agian either. I have a small body frame and Im 5'4 but everyone keeps saying I am looking like im relapsing... just a few more lbs and I will be okay... so is 1000 low enough I have been doing under 500 this week daily but i dont want to go under 100 daily because that makes me weak and I have to be a nanny full time...I need that energy! Anyways if you have any tips let me know!