Recently I went to two weddings that left me starved for two different reasons. The first started later it should have (something about the bride’s mother needing more hair spray) and the drinks and appetizers did not begin until after 8 pm. Since I am always afraid that any food in my hand will end up on my clothes, I avoid stand-up eating at parties. Since I had eaten last at lunchtime I was hungry by the time the doors to the banquet hall were opened and we were allowed to sit down. Alas, by the time the obligatory rituals of greeting the married couple, their first dance, a few early toasts had been made, another hour had passed without a morsel of food in sight. Finally, around 9:15, a salad was served.  More dancing followed and I am not exaggerating when I say that the main course was put on the tables no earlier than 11 pm. Since we had a long drive home, we left without eating.

 A month later the other wedding was called for late afternoon, started on time and appetizers were passed around during the receiving line, about 20 minutes later. The problem was that the appetizers consisted primarily of cucumber slices and an occasional teeny shrimp, very oily pizza (spots on the dress worry again) and mushrooms and pineapple on skewers (not my favorite combination). Oh well, I thought, obviously I will wait for the main course. But the main course was not put out on the buffet tables for two more hours, the appetizers ran out and there were not even any toothpicks to nibble on. And the main course was beef, posing difficulty for those of us who no longer eat red meat. This time we made up an excuse, left early, changed our clothes and went out to dinner.

             Now I know that many wedding guests have had the opposite problem, that is, so much food that the wedding ceremony was simply a short interlude between bouts of eating and drinking. But from speaking with many friends, relatives and also my weight- loss clients, I have begun to realize that the starving wedding guest is not so rare these days. The interval between leaving home for the wedding and sitting down to eat at the reception can easily be 6 hours or longer.

So what is the solution? Send money and stay home? Not likely. Fill up on appetizers and go to dry cleaner the next day?  That is one possibility if the appetizers are available and just as important, not so loaded with calories that your wedding attire stops fitting before the wedding couple’s first dance. My solution and one, which I am sharing with my weigh- loss clients, is to have a small meal or snack right before leaving home. In addition, pack a small protein or granola bar in your evening bag so you can munch on it discreetly during the reception if there are no appetizers that are appropriate for your diet.  Failing to bring any snack, you may be able to fend off those hunger pangs with bread or rolls if they are on the table when you (finally) are seated. If none appear, ask the wait staff to bring some. And remember: even if some marriages last forever, the wedding does not.

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written by Brian, May 07, 2007

As a vegetarian, I have developed the habit of eating before any party, BBQ, wedding, or the like. My concern is that the person planning the party eats so much meat that they will a*sume everyone else does. But it works out for other reasons as well.