DIET | DETECTIVE^®

How come I’d never heard of kettlebells before last week, and now that’s all I hear about? They’re getting so much action, Balenciaga’s like, “Iron balls? Why didn’t I think of that?!”

Well, I for one am shocked—shocked!—that Star Jones Reynolds lost all that weight through gastric bypass surgery. I thought it was perfectly reasonable to expect that she’d gone from 307 pounds down to 140-something in a year or two. I’d make a joke about Pilates here, but Rosie O’Donnell already stole that one a few months ago.

I’m not entirely sure whether Julian McMahon is more evil as supervillain Dr. Doom in The Fantastic Four or as the womanizing plastic surgeon Dr. Troy in Nip/Tuck. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because he makes villainy look good. And here’s how.

I’m starting to think it’s possible that literally every single person in Hollywood does Pilates. With the number of people crediting their newfound skinniness to the core-strengthening wonder-workout, it’s surprising that any new devotees can even squeeze into the studio.